HealthCareTips blog

Most doctors think Obamacare has helped patients get better healthcare, even as a lengthy court battle threatens to strike down the law, finds a new study. About 60% of physicians in the US thought the Affordable Care Act gave more people access to medical treatment they wouldn't otherwise have had.

Forgiveness as a Self-Healing Tool

Surely, some things can never be forgiven, should never be forgiven?

Susie was 48 years old, and came for counseling for burnout in her highly responsible job. It took three sessions before she trusted me enough to tell me her story.

Thirty years before, a man had brutally raped her. She’d spent three weeks in hospital, and has physical handicaps from it to this day. The court hearing was even more traumatizing. He showed no remorse. His story was that she’d initiated contact, invited sex, then backed out at the last minute, hitting him and scratching his face, so he defended himself, and “um… went a little too far.” He was let off with a slap on the wrist.

Merely thinking of sex with a man made her feel nauseous. She was seriously overweight, which had affected her heart, and led to type 2 diabetes. Every time she reduced weight, some fellow started stalking her. I gently got her to tell me what “stalking” involved. It was things like asking her out to have a cup of coffee or a meal with him.

Here is a life wrecked in several ways due to horrid action from someone. How could she possibly forgive him?

We used one of the standard techniques for processing trauma: exposure therapy via age-regression hypnosis. After this, she could recall the event, feel herself listening to his lies in court, and could stay calm. Again under hypnosis, I asked her to imagine kissing a man. She managed it without revulsion, but afterward, she told me she was still uninterested “in the male species.” I encouraged her to be open to a romantic relationship with another woman, because I’ve seen the healing effect of that for many other rape survivors.

Then I said to her, “This fellow has ruled your life for thirty years. You’ve been carrying him around as a terrible load. It’s time to get rid of him.”

“Sounds good. How?”

“He has damaged you physically. But where does your psychological damage come from?”

“Are you saying that’s my fault?”

“No. Fault is not involved. You did the best you could, all the time. But that was then, way back then. Now is now. Yesterday, it felt to you as if he was still with you. At any moment, many things could trigger a flashback, disgust you, make you want to hide. Does it still feel like that?”

She thought, head hanging down. Then she looked me in the eyes. “No. And I was offered free therapy as a victim of crime, and didn’t take it up.”

She started to cry, then smiled through the tears. “Thank you. You’ve given me power, for the first time.”

“No, Susie. You’ve taken up the power you always had. I only showed you the path, and now you’ve chosen to walk on it. But let me tell you about Jewish ethics. If I have stolen something and never get found out, my punishment is inherent in the act: I am now a thief. If I do a secret good deed and never get found out, my reward is that now I am a benefactor. Apply that logic to this man.”

“Poor bastard!” We laughed together. A glow seemed to join us. We both spontaneously stood, and she gave me a big hug.

What this man did was horrendous. She didn’t need to forget it. She didn’t need to excuse his act, or pretend in the slightest that it was OK. But now she could feel sorry for him, so he no longer rode on her back. She had forgiven the person, while still holding him responsible for the action.

Our culture is stuck on punishment for misdeeds. This does nothing. When someone has done me wrong, the best way I can react is to lead this person out of the mindset that induced the evil deed. When that isn’t possible, then at least I can protect myself from further harm by refusing to carry the load of hate, anger, resentment, the victim mentality. The Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is picking up a hot coal to throw at somebody. It is your hand that gets burned.”

Forgiveness, in this sense, is a powerful tool of positive psychology. A good trick is to genuinely, honestly, from the heart, say this to yourself once a day:

If knowingly or unknowingly, accidentally or on purpose, I have harmed anyone, I ask for forgiveness.
If knowingly or unknowingly, accidentally or on purpose anyone has harmed me, I offer forgiveness.

Are You Preventing Your Kid from Being a Bully?

School bullying has probably been around as long as there have been schools. At one time, it was even seen as an unavoidable, maybe even important, fact of life. Bullied kids were told to tough it out as a way to learn to be strong. Bullies were ignored or even encouraged. But the last decade or two has seen a shift in public attitude from denial of the negative impact of bullying to concern. News of suicides of some young victims, murder of at least another, and school shootings perpetrated by those on the receiving end of constant belittlement and humiliation have brought the issue to national attention.

The problem is huge. Depending on the study, 10-30% of students report being victimized by their peers. It starts as early as preschool, peaks in middle school, and continues through the high school years. Research isn’t conclusive about gender differences but it seems that boys are more likely to engage in physical threats and actions while girls are more likely to participate in verbal and cyber-bullying, spreading rumors and excluding their victims from their group. Technology has taken the problem out of the school halls and cafeteria and into the airways for both genders.

School systems are bringing in consultants and providing programs to address the problem. But, as is true of most things, schools can do only so much. Prevention of bullying starts at home.

There are dozens of articles online about how to help your child avoid being victimized and what parents can do if it occurs. There are many other articles about the importance of teaching our children how to be part of the solution by reporting and being active critics of bullies.

But this article is about yet another difficult topic — confronting the fact that any kid (even our kid) can become the bully the other kids fear. Impacts are not limited to the victims. When a kid gains a reputation for being a bully, there are also long-term negative effects for them.

Research shows that bullies can become locked into that role. They may become anxious about losing the power and status that can come from being seen as a threat. Feeling inferior in other more pro-social ways, they resort to developing their ability to devastate others with a word, a post, or nonverbal gestures that assert their ersatz superiority. They surround themselves with other bullies and become less empathic. Terrified of being seen as weak, they increase their efforts to appear strong at the expense of others.

Yes, the probability that your kid will become a bully is small. Only 5-13% of kids studied admit to being on the bullying end of the stick. But that 5-13% of kids who are bullies set in motion a life-long pattern of threatening others in order to shore up their low self-esteem. How can we ensure that our kid doesn’t become one of the perpetrators?

How to prevent your kid from becoming a bully:

Parental modeling matters: Kids do learn what they live. They observe how we respond to public and private bullies. The current culture provides us with numerous opportunities to join in the rhetoric of bullies or to turn away in disgust. It’s almost impossible to watch the news these days without seeing politicians doing their best to show the worst of human behavior. Social media is full of reports of adults bullying others. Let your kids know that such behavior is not acceptable. Call out people who are rude or critical of others when it happens in your presence. Talk with your children about any incidence of bullying that they see on TV news or video games. Talk about the negative effects on both the bully and the bullied. Most important, teach how things could be handled differently.

Monitor other adult authority figures: Sadly, there are teachers, coaches, and youth leaders who seem to think that using sarcasm and put downs is an effective style of leadership. Their victims cower. Other kids jump in to keep the negative focus off themselves. Yes, it sometimes gets results. But kids in the cross hairs of adult bullies are devastated. Often they quit a sport or activity they love to get away from the abuse. Those who tolerate it may learn the subject, sport, or skill sets at hand, but kids who are bullied by their mentors often become depressed or traumatized. They also learn that the way to be a leader and in authority is to be hurtful. Correct, report, or insist on disciplinary action when other adults are just bullies who’ve grown bigger but not grown up.

Give your kids a moral compass: Decent people behave decently. Knowing right from wrong does come naturally, but kids do need us to give them recognition for acting on it. Don’t shy away from giving them direct lessons in morality. Encourage them to do things because it is the right thing to do, not because they will get an immediate reward.

Never, ever, humiliate a kid: Yes, kids do things that are amusing to stupid. But no child ever learned an important lesson by being called names and being put down. Frequent punishment by humiliation has been reported by bullying kids as one of the reasons they bully. Not wanting to be a victim anymore, their immediate response is to become powerful by being a perpetrator instead. Our job as influential adults in their lives is to show them that there is a third alternative; that they can learn to navigate a challenging culture with grace and compassion for others.

Build their positive self esteem: Raise them with love and acceptance. Teach them that feeling good comes from doing good; from being one of the people who contributes in a positive way to their family, friends, and community. That is what is at the foundation of a healthy self-esteem. Kids with a strong positive self-esteem have no need or desire to be a bully.

Drug trial: rolls back biological age 2 years or more.

submitted by /u/davis1601
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Summer heatwaves caused 1,500 extra deaths in France: health minister

Summer heatwaves caused 1,500 extra deaths in France: health minister
Reuters: Health
Heatwaves in June and July caused about 1,500 more deaths than usual in France over that period, though the figure was far lower than in the summer of 2003, the country's health minister said on Sunday.

White Chicken Chili

White chili is called white chili for three reasons. One, it’s made with chicken, not beef. Two, it’s made with white beans. Three, it’s sometimes thickened with milk and flour, or cream.

Does white chili have a place at the Primal table? Absolutely. It’s easy to dispense with the milk and flour, since thickening the chili isn’t crucial to its flavor. What about the beans? You can keep them in the chili if you like (although perhaps in smaller amounts than most recipes call for). Or, substitute cubes of white sweet potato to provide a creamy but slightly firm texture that’s similar to beans. Like beans, celery root also has a neutral, but earthy flavor.

Then, heap on the shredded chicken, peppers, cilantro, green onions and everything else that makes white chili so delicious. Without beans or dairy, this white chili is a lighter meal than regular white chili, but no less satisfying.

Servings: 3

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cooking Time: 30 minutes

Notes: For a lower carb dish, sub the white sweet potato for celery root, rutabaga or turnip. For a hotter chili, use more poblano peppers or add in diced jalapenos. Save cooking and prep time by using frozen riced cauliflower. This chili is delicious served with avocado. You can also add some shredded cheese if you do dairy.

Ingredients:

2 Tbsp. Primal Kitchen® Avocado Oil
1 poblano pepper, chopped
1/2 cup chopped red onion
1/2 cup chopped red pepper
1/2 cup chopped green pepper
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp. ground cumin
½ Tbsp. coriander
1/2 Tbsp. dried oregano
1/2 tsp. paprika
1 tsp. salt
1 lb. boneless chicken thighs
1 cup diced white sweet potato
2 cups cauliflower rice
4 cups water
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
*avocado and cilantro to garnish

Instructions:?

Heat 1 tablespoon of avocado oil in a pot over medium heat. Once hot, add the chopped red onion and peppers. Saute for about 3 minutes, until the vegetables have softened. Add the garlic and saute until fragrant. Remove the vegetables from the pot.

Combine the cumin, coriander, oregano, paprika and salt together. Sprinkle half of the mixture all over the chicken thighs.

Add the remaining olive oil. Once hot, add the chicken thighs to the pan. Cook them for 2 minutes on each side. Pour the water into the pot. Once the water begins to bubble, bring the water to a simmer and cover the pot. Cook for about 10-15 minutes, or until the chicken reaches an internal temperature of at least 165 degrees and begins to be soft enough to shred. Remove the chicken from the pot and set it aside to be shredded.

Add the diced sweet potato, half of the cauliflower rice and the remaining spice blend to the pot. Cover the pot again and cook until the sweet potatoes are soft. Use an immersion blender to blend the potatoes and cauliflower in with the broth. Bring the pot to a simmer again and add in the remaining cauliflower rice, shredded chicken and onion/pepper mixture. Continue to gently heat for about 5 minutes, or until the cauliflower rice has softened. Add in the chopped cilantro and season with salt or spices as necessary. Serve with more cilantro and avocado slices.